boone

so...after visiting asu/boone for the weekend, ive discovered some things about it.

1) asu is h.u.g.e! as in...you could fit our campus on like...less than half of just the first floors on asu's campus! most of our buildings are 2 story, and there arent but so many buildings here...up there? pretty much every building has at least 3 floors. and theres a bajillion buildings!

2) boone is cold. as in...it snowed while i was there. no lie. except i cant say this first hand...because i was asleep. i slept from 4.15am until 2pm...and it happened sometime saturday morning...so pretty much right in the middle of my sleep

3) monster is only so effective when driving long distances...once it wears through, the key is to keep cold! which worked out well, considering point #2. so you put monster, cold weather, and loud music together, and you have instant "stay awake"

4) all roads in boone look the same...and all roads in boone are really steep! (yes i know thats an exaggeration...but the roads are way steep - especially the portion by the blue ridge parkway - 8% grade? for 4+ miles? yep. thats pretty steep.

5) those crazy mountain people you see in the movies? yeah, theyre not from boone. sorry. or at least not the civilized portion of boone. i did see lots of redneck posers, though...paha

6) our daily bread deli is crazy good - get the odb club sammich if you have the chance! (turkey, ham, bacon, cheddar, swiss, rye AND pumpernickel breads, tomato, lettuce, and their "special sauce")..with tater salad and a pickle spear. and its like...$7 ish...so get it! its worth it!

7) its gorgeous...and i dont just mean the girl i was with - the scenery itself! theres really nothing like fall in the mountains - you get the slopes of the mountains with small bits of fog and almost every color imaginable peeking out from the tree branches...so awesome! and the sunsets? between the mountains? through slight mountain mist? heck yes! i got to see grandfather mountain from across the valley against the pink sky as the sun was setting - and immediately wished i had my camera...

8) traffic is horrendous on game day. like fo rizzle. even taking the long way/back way/scenic route, you hit tons of traffic!

9) small 2 door cars are not the greatest to drive in boone. its pretty much a requirement to drive an suv if you live there. im glad i dont drive a jeep, though. because everybody else does, and id lose it too easily...paha

10) the walmart lines are INFINITELY quicker than the lines here. like no joke. what takes 10 minutes there takes at least 30 here! and they open more lines when they get backed up! what a revolutionary idea!

so to sum all that up - boone is awesome this time of year, but im glad i dont live there...i would die, i think.

not gonna let it slide!

yes people, i know. i havent posted in like...5 days. please dont shoot me! but ive had legitimate reasons!

#1 - i forgot. need i say more? im doing good to remember homework...sometimes...a little bit of the time.

#2 - ive been busy. heres a basic rundown of my monday: wakeup at 7.15, shower. class at 8, eat at 9ish, homework, lab at 11.30, eat sometime after lab (usually like...1.15-1.30), small break, class at 3.30, medium break, class at 7pm, eat at 8ish, homework, skype at 11 until 3 or 4am. my day is full! and dont say "well just cut out the skype time!"...because no. that's off limits :)

#3 - ive had other things on my mind. duh. paha - if you didnt know that, then you should probably read my other blog posts. just a recap: fun, jokes, a friend's tragedy, romance, hammocking, stress, smelly stairwells, and more! which has left very little time to blog.

#4 - there is no reason #4. there is no miss zarves. sorry.

BUT! i have no intention of letting this blog go! i am still aware that i have a blog that a few people follow/read sometimes, and we sure cant leave them hanging, can we? so fear not! i havent forgotten you (all 3 of you)!

[sniffsniff] something's cookin!

no, im not going to give you a recipe...paha

so some (very few) of you know that something has been cooking in my life recently...but most dont. and since i cant contact each of you individually, i figured this would be alot easier. so please dont get offended if you wanted me to tell you in person...its nothing personal...

(spoiler alert: i may be slightly sappy and/or "cute" in this post...now that you know, you can decide whether you want details or not)

also...just like always, good-natured ribbing or poking fun us acceptable...but trolls would do well to keep on moving to somewhere else!

this story requires a small amount of backstory, so i'll start there: i was born a po' pitiful chile....

just kidding! and i dont need to go back that far! but throughout middle school, and i guess early high school, we went to a church in hillsborough. nice place, nice people, and ive got lots of stories that come out of there...but thats beside the point. while in middle school (and somewhat today...who am i kidding?), i was awkward. not gonna lie. but then again, everybody is in middle school. and as a general rule, i didnt really like people that much. except for a select few, i was a loner (still am sometimes). well, there was this one person i "liked" alot, and as such was incredibly shy around her, like i didnt talk much...at all. those of you who know me pretty well know why thats strange! but she was funny, smart, cute, didnt mind being around me (which was a HUGE deal in my book), and respectable in a non-lame way...i know that's not exactly the most endearing term, but i think you get the picture - she knew how to conduct herself (as opposed to pretty much every other girl at that church besides a small handful), and was way fun to be around (despite my not talking). well, i never said anything about it, just let it sit there (but some people apparently caught it...good catch "jerk"...you know who you are!). well, we moved and changed churches so i figured that was it - no more seeing her, no more hanging out...and again...didnt say anything...but never forgot her.

apparently, unbeknownst to me, she liked me at the same time i liked her - but somehow i didnt notice! or maybe i noticed the by-product nervousness but it didnt calculate in my mind...and in a way im glad, because it makes now even more special! but im getting ahead of myself.

time passes. and passes. and who do you think gets back into contact with me a few years ago? yep, youre right! well, we got back into contact and caught up a little bit. and she came to one of our band concerts back in '09, which was awesome! and guess who was still awkward and shy around her? if you guessed me, you were right. by alot. take a look at the pic below:


see that awkward arm hang? and how im almost leaning out of the picture? you could tell i was nervous...and she seemed completely unchanged (besides the usual "grown up look" changes) - everything i had admired and been attracted to was still there!

well, not too long ago, we got back in touch for real and spent alot of time talking. and even less time ago she tells me that she's met a really awesome guy who makes her smile alot and makes her feel awesome...a guy she had known for a long time but had lost contact with on and off for several years. i ended up learning that he was at another school which made starting a relationship difficult, but i was happy for her because she was genuinely excited and happy. so i told her to tell him not to be a stranger, because she was really happy.

the next morning i get up to a message from her on facebook that says "dont be such a stranger". oh wow! brain. grenade. kabloom! my head a-splode! bam! fireworks! well, you get the picture. and apparently im a true guy...because i was too dense to realize she was talking about me being at another school and making her happy! wow. and she posted a video to my facebook so i could hear her recite something, but i didnt watch it for that...and not gonna lie...i watched it a bajillion times...paha

she had grown up. alot. like alot alot. what had been cute was now beautiful, her smile had become more infectious. her charm had only increased; her humor was still there but more refined, her whole "air" was one of grace and beauty (while still being fun). i could go on, but you dont want to read all that... :) and she was attracted to me! whoah. absolutely amazing! when i could finally speak/think coherently again, we decided to discuss the idea of dating...

enter over 9 hours of skype in 2 days (yes i know, thats unhealthy...but i dont care!) and countless hours of facebook chat... :)

and my cheeks hurt pretty much everyday now. smiling does that, i hear. according to her, though, we'll at least not have to worry about crazy old ladies pinching our cheeks because there wont be anything to grab - just muscle :D (yes i know i just kept you in suspense for even longer :P)

so where do we stand now? drumroll please............

i am thrilled and most proud to say that this beautiful, fun, and amazing woman...is now my girlfriend! and yes, i know im incredibly lucky! i also know all of you are jealous...i really do understand. but you cant have her! :)

no good deed

("not funny post" alert...if youd like to see something funny, you can read the previous post...or go to homestarrunner.com)

today is one of those days that i feel like elpheba. she tried to fix stuff, tried to make things right, tried to be helpful...but it backfired.

please tell me youve at least heard of wicked. no? shame on you! well, its a prequel to the wizard of oz, about the wicked witch of the west (elpheba) and why she is wicked, why she is green, and why society is stupid.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4I8pneJkxBY

"my road of good intentions led where such roads always lead...no good deed goes unpunished!"

her simple attempt to fix a problem ended in disaster. every time she jumped into a situation and tried to help, the person she tried to help ended up either hating her or at least not wanting her anymore. she tries to fit in with society, tries to do well and do as she's told, but ends up in exile BECAUSE of her actions.

"One question haunts and hurts
Too much, too much to mention:
Was I really seeking good
Or just seeking attention?
Is that all good deeds are
When looked at with an ice-cold eye?
If that's all good deeds are
Maybe that's the reason why

No good deed goes unpunished
All helpful urges should be circumvented
No good deed goes unpunished
Sure, I meant well -
Well, look at what well-meant did:"

like really. look at what well-meant did! you now have a cowardly lion, a man made out of tin, a scarecrow, and flying monkeys. seriously! just because she loved some people and wanted to help them! no matter her intentions, no matter how much she cared, her attempts fell. failed. died trying. and who's to say that the ice-cold eye of observation isnt correct? should we even try to go with society and its norms? should we try to fix difficult problems? should we reach out to others?

are all good actions actually just seeking attention? looking back at my own actions, i start to question them, too. i still feel like i meant well, and wasnt looking for attention. but am i jaded by my own emotions? am i fooling myself? is there a chance that i was just looking for and enjoying the attention? in her case, she wanted conflict resolution, but ended up with attention - lots of negative attention!

so what's the deal? do we try to extend beyond our personal bubbles and reach into society? or should we be professional navel-gazers? how do we evaluate what our motivations really are? can we change those motivations? how do we make an impact if we dont act?

bbaagghh!!

just fyi, no, im not depressed. just slightly moody. and thoughtful. maybe you are too. i doubt this is the end of this post, but its all ive got for now. so maybe ngd pt2 will come later.

hammocking!

so, for those who dont have the pleasure of owning one, hammocks are the greatest thing since...the last great thing invented! suffice it to say that ive spent almost as much time in this hammock over the summer as i have in classes here at school :) im actually typing this post from a hammock. just fyi.

(let me say that i in no way shape or form represent the company im about to endorse, nor do i get paid)

eno hammocks. if youve never been in one, you are missing out! theyre made out of parachute material and stuff down into themselves to roughly the size of a big grapefruit. they hold up to 400lb, which is great, so you could get 3 small kids in here. i use a doublenest, so its really wide.

theyre great for sleeping - all you need is your hammock and a blanket, and youre set! some people bring pillows, too, but not me! its especially great if you position yourself to see the sunrise, because you wake up to the sun...which is infinitely better than waking up to an alarm clock.

great for swinging - whether youre laying down or sitting up and sharing with a friend, these things are great swings! or when the wind blows (like it is now), you not only get the swinging action, but the cool breeze to go along with it!

theyre great for thinking. ive spent so much time working stuff out in my head while laying in a hammock, that just laying in one automatically make me start thinking. today i have alot to think about...the stuff going on with my friend, homework i have to work through, stuff i have to clean in the apt, and now i there is a prospect of my starting a new relationship. so obviously, my hammock was my first choice of where to be :)

so clearly you should get one of these. i recommend the doublenest, which can usually be gotten on amazon for ~$70, including the straps to hang it!

today's the day...

so today is the day for alot of things...

its the day for me to have slept straight through my chem class. halfway on purpose...because im a loser.

its the day that my friend has her first trial to sort through this messy situation. its gonna be really long and emotionally draining for her...its also the day that im most thankful for her good friend, who will be there to comfort and support her today

its the day i have to clean the bathroom. surprisingly, its not too bad! but its been about 2 weeks-ish, so its time. but i will not remove waluigi from the mirror! he only appears when you take a hot shower to fog up the mirror...and then he's like "WAGH!" in fact, it actually says that! (all props for this bit of awesomeness go to roger...because he drew him on there)

its the day i have to do some homework. apparently PE is more life-invasive than we had originally feared. for this 2 credit hour class, we have twice as much homework as my 3 credit classes. twice as much! last lame assignment was a "spiritual" wellness reflection - i did a howling mad murdoch and thought of white paper and called that meditation :) if you have no idea what im talking about, shame on you! you should watch that episode of the a-team here: http://www.hulu.com/watch/59960/the-a-team-the-road-to-hope and this time its an emotional wellness reflection...which is way dumb.

today is hopefully the day that jason and i can beat the next level of x-men! i have the sega genesis and original x-men game, which is waaaay hard! and because its form the classic era of games, theres no save option...so we have to either play through the early levels or gambit jump through them. either way, we're gonna get some good playtime in today!

today is the day that i clean my room. see, there are some awesome people coming next week (my grandparents) and it would be way lame for it to look gross.

and today is the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_mKZpf3gPg&ob=av2n

stairweeeeeeeeeeell

(crude-ness warning! this post has some crude humor, but nothing over the top...i wont say anything a 5 yr old like myself can't hear/say)

so i live on the third floor, halfway between the stairwell and the elevator. so i usually take the stairwell. this serves two (2) purposes: 1) it gets me there quicker. the elevator here is like the one back at vance, so it takes like 5 minutes to go from the 1st to the 3rd floor with no stops! 2) it gets me a bit more exercise by taking the steps two (2) at a time. now taking the stairwell...it can be good, or it can be bad.

now how can a harmless little stairwell be so bad, you may ask? well, youve come to the right place! because i, the powerful, the pleasurable, the indestructible joseph, am going to a'splain!

why you wouldnt like our stairwell (unless youre way weird):

#1 - it smells like butt. like really. in all seriousness (and lots of funny-ness) our hall smells great, thanks to the next door neighbors' uber strong apple cinnamon plugin, but you open the stairwell door, and it slaps you, WHAPPPPPP! with the not-so-fresh smell of wag dining hall gas. its baaaaaaaaaad! i always feel like im in a middle school boys bathroom. except when one of the girls from downstairs goes through it, because then it smells like awesome perfume mixed with butt. and no boys bathroom IVE ever been in has had the perfume part in it...just sayin!

#2 - stupid people congregate there. on the dad-blamed steps! people will stand there and talk! on. the. steps! have i said that enough? so you come running up/down the steps trying to get to class on time, and BLAMABLAM! you run through em like a bowling ball through pins, and you fall and break an arm and die and then keep falling until you hit the bottom. and then you die again. not fun!

#3 - people leave their junk on the steps. all over it! someone dumped their salad on the way up, and it sat there for two (2) weeks! rotting! molding! sliming! smelling like dead cat poop! way gross. but i must admit, it was pretty cool to see all the phases of decay!

#4 - the stairs creak. like when you step on em. newsflash: theyre steel! so you step up on them and they go CREAK,POP,THUNK! just by stepping on them! now...i weigh like 140 soaking wet, and if I make them creak, what about anyone bigger than me?!?!

#5 - did i mention the smell? oh yeah...i guess i did. smells like butt? after eating at wag? yep. thats it. thats my number 5.

feel bad for me yet? i go through this stairwell like...8 times a day :)

friends (not the tv series)

for those of you that dont know me, i generally refer to myself as a misanthrope - not relishing the idea of being around people and most certainly not wanting become close to anyone. but over the past few years, ive realized just how ridiculously awesome people in general, and more specifically, friends, are.

reasons why friends (real friends, not here-today-gone-tomorrow) are awesome (not in order of precedence or importance [or redundancy or saying the same thing multiple times]...just in the order of my brain):

#1 - playing games. ever tried to play settlers of catan by yourself? it doesnt work. or the classic baseball example - unless you're popeye, you cant be the pitcher and the batter. if you can, take a video and show me! i want to see it!

#2 - wakeboarding. ever try to do that by yourself? you get all the way out there in the boat, hop out, get your board/jacket on, take care of business in the water (making sure to give the "hold on" signal), and then give the ready signal...and nothing happens.

#3 - going to cookout. now cookout is great if you go by yourself. but its awesome if you go ina large group...watching the people inside get all frantic while your friends stand outside the one-way mirror and make faces is priceless. :) plus, you can get new ideas for mix-n-match milkshakes!

#4 - hammocking. ever hammocked in one of those eno hammocks? the really cool ones that pack down to the size of a great big grapefruit? theyre so much fun by yourself. but when you get a group of people together in the trees, you can make double/triple stacks (like bunk beds)! or you can connect multiple hammocks and use them like swings!

#5 - doing stupid stuff. the most fun things in life are usually terrible ideas. not gonna lie. but theyre so much fun! and if youre by yourself, you probably wouldnt do it...but in a group? anything goes :) its in groups of people that you hear famous last words such as "i'm sure this will work", "this is a great idea", "what could happen?", "look, no hands", and "i wonder if this will hold......". who doesnt want that?!

#6 - road trips (or trips to the grocery store...that works too). you can only sing/dance/be stupid to a certain degree when youre alone...but when youve got at least one other person in the car, the possibilities are endless! and then think of the classic chinese fire drill...with one person! :)

********more seriouser reasons why friends are awesome

#7 - friends are willing to tell you when youve messed up and help you avoid it in the future. see, when youre by yourself, even if you want to avoid a certain behavior/place, you can only go so far before you start justifying the action or place. but a friend that cares wis willing to help you out and beat you up as many times as necessary to avoid the action/place.

#8 - friends listen. to anything. and a true friend doesnt judge you - they love and care about you regardless of your actions. yes they can help you when you need it, but they dont judge. without friends, theres no way id be able to carry some of the burdens ive been given in the past few years...none. see, theres so much we cant deal with on our own. there's just no way. when you try to fight it alone, you fall. fail. get consumed in grief, pain, hate, sorrow, depression, self-loathing, et cetera ad infinitum. but with a friend, youre stronger. a stick can be broken, but a bundle of sticks will stand.

#9 - friends have your back. no matter what. thats pretty much self-explanatory, but even when you make a stupid decision, friends are there to help you pick up the pieces

#10 - friends can tell you things that you wouldnt listen to anywhere else. think about it - if a stranger tells you you look like your mom dressed you in the dark, you would ignore it. but if a friend told you that, youd probably be a little upset, but you would take it as advice from someone who cares. same with legit stuff - you can take advice from a friend easier and with more weight than some random person.

and thats just 10 reasons why friends are great. out of the like...8 bajillion reasons!

retreat! (not the custer kind)

so, this weekend im at camp. on fall break. for a mother/daughter retreat. now, for those of you who dont know me (and for those that do), i am neither a mother nor daughter. so why am i here, you ask? good question! because i love camp! being here isnt just a job. its not just a way to earn money/learn skills. its a time to be with "family" (after working with these people 10+ weeks, they become like family). its a time for being outside at the lake. its a time to stargaze without much light pollution. its a time to get up early, go to bed late, but love every second. to be really tired after a long day of rec. activities. to walk around looking ridiculous while trying to find a cell signal - IF you can find one! a time to stay in the m.u./bcr/bcl.

today i spent the day playing games with the mothers/daughters, leading worship, belaying on the climbing wall, and belaying in high ropes. now for those who dont know, our climbing wall is roughly 45 feet with 6 different possible routes. i had one of the routes today and belayed roughly 7 people per class (1 hr). and high ropes? what is that, you ask? well, its a ropes course. in the trees. that are high. there fore = high ropes course, or the shortenenated version: high ropes. its a fairly straight-forward course, with 2 exits (a free fall, and a zip line) the free fall is ~30ft, the zip tower is roughly 60ft. i finished up just in time to eat dinner :)

tired

soo...yesterday was PE class. and i wouldnt have thought a PE class would be hard, but this one definitely is. heres how the first few weeks went: weeks 1-3, running 1/2, 3/4, and 1 mile; weeks 4-5, fitness testing...which was a 1.5 mile run, max pushup, max sit-up, max bench press; weeks 6-now, circuit training...so needless to say it's been fairly intense!

for circuit he has us on a 6-station rotation of 5 minutes each of cardio, shoulders, back, biceps/triceps, legs, and abs. so up to this point i had been doing (dont laugh at my numbers):

10 rep 95lb bench press, following the down 4, up 2 rule

10 rep 45lb sitting military

either

{10 rep 50lb leg curls

10 rep 55-60lb (cant remember the exact number on that machine) leg extensions}

or

{10 rep 45lb leg press

10 rep 45lb toe press}

5 min abs (usually ball transfer crunches or ball obliques)

5 min cardio on stationary bike or elliptical, 2 min warmup, 1 min hard, 2 min cooldown

10 rep 12.5lb overhead straight arm raises

10 rep 37.5lb sitting row

10 rep 15lb bicep

10 rep 15lb tricep

last night is when we had to bump it up, so instead of doing cardio, he had us run 1.5 miles and up either reps or weights...so now im at 20 reps for most of those (not bench), and increased bicep weight to 17.5lb...and i was so tired afterwards. just holding my glass(es) of poweraid was comical because my arms were twitchy...paha

all that exercise in conjunction with eating right is hopefully not gonna make lose weight (i'd disappear if i did...140lb soaking wet), but gain muscle.

and that beautiful creation called monster? he's my best friend on PE days. :) trail mix and/or granola and a monster are usually my pre-PE snack, so i eat it right at 6.15ish for a 7 o'clock PE.

side note: i salute you, mr. random blog reader from germany. idk who you are or how you found my blog, but welcome :)

tough times

yes i do realize that i just made this blog today and im already bringing the fun level down, but i just needed to work through some things, and this post is really important to me...youll see why. youre probably gonna see a side of me that very few people have ever seen. you might laugh at me. but thats ok. and you may cry at this entry. i did when this happened, and yes im man enough to admit it. oh yeah. and this has to do with my faith too. so if that offends you, move on. trolls are unwelcome.

at 1.34am on tuesday, october 4th, 2011, i received one of the most heartbreaking and earth-shattering text message i ever could have received. a friend who means the world to me texted me to say that she had been raped. and she was serious. before this, i thought (as im sure many of you do) that rape was bad. i thought it was terrible and repulsive. but so removed from it that i couldnt really feel the sting of it. i had just a head knowledge. but when i heard that it had happened to a really close friend, it was then that i truly began to understand how horrific it really is. i got a taste of heart knowledge. it was then that my world as i knew it changed instantly.

from 1.45-3am, i dont remember things i said/thought, or what i did. i was shocked. i was hurting for her. i was hating him. i was disgusted with the depth of his depravity. i was scared. i have never felt so heartbroken in my entire life - not even when the second greatest man to have ever lived died a few years ago (my great-uncle gene...when he died, i was absolutely certain of where he was, and that was a place of no more pain and tears). i completely lost my mind. it was then that something completely unfamiliar to me happened. something called a panic attack. never before had this beast bitten me. never again do i want it to. i couldnt feel my hands. i couldnt flex and unflex them. i was freezing. sweating. i grabbed my comforter and wrapped it around me. i was shaking. i was crying semi-uncontrollably. i couldnt breathe. i lost coherence. i felt useless. worthless. knowing i had to do something but unable to do it. knowing at that moment was when i was needed most but was incapable of doing what was necessary. knowing i was alone. knowing that regardless of my goodwill and intentions, when crunch time came, i was powerless to help. i even tried to get my things together and drive to go be with her. but i found that i physically couldnt - even if i could have gotten to the car, i couldnt use my hands, and my vision/mental clarity were nowhere near good enough to drive for the 12-13 hours. and that hurt too. that she was hurting and all i could do was sit and freak out. i tried to be awake and coherent all night so that i could get her next text and figure out how to help. i figured that was the least i could do. but i slipped into the nether realm of unconsciousness sometime after 3. i woke up in the fetal position the next morning.

the next day i couldnt feel anything. just a profound sense of emptiness. i hadnt heard from her, but i knew she had to be hurting. i wanted to still be able to cry, i wanted to still hate him, but i felt so far removed that i couldnt. i just went through the motions of the day. i ate a little. i sat around alot. i was in a mental fog. i prayed harder than i had ever prayed in my entire life. and you know what? i didnt feel any better. this magical charm of prayer that was supposed to give me some "Spirit shivers" or "Biblical buzz" didnt. i felt the same after as before. like God had let me down. like prayer was worthless. that God didnt really care. that He must be cruel. but i was treating it all wrong. i was looking at this from my perspective, and looking at prayer like it was indeed a charm - not the 24hr helpline that it is. i was assuming that my feelings dictated the true state of things. i was focusing on my own perspective instead of thinking about the big picture. just because i didnt "feel" different didnt mean God wasnt working. and i had the opportunity to see that later on.

on tuesday night, i got to talk to my friend. i got to hear how she was doing. i cried again as she told me more of the situation. i sat there not really knowing how to help other than to listen. but i also learned of the intense strength and willpower this girl has. she not only had the strength to tell someone about it, but she is fighting through this and even went to class that night! after spending the entire morning at the hospital! and the police station! she was carrying on with life. her spirit isnt broken. i knew she was strong. but that strong? how amazing is that? clearly her strength isnt from herself. i was able to see that remarkable character that can only be revealed through trials. i dont know that God showed me that because of my prayers, but quite frankly, i dont care. the fact is, He did it. and she's surrounded by people who already loved her, but now she can see that even more clearly.

so the point is, who cares if you see immediate results? and who cares how *you* feel in a situation? just because we feel like horsepoo or that we're totally alone doesnt mean we are! and who are we to underestimate the strength drawn from God? essentially thats like saying "God, i trust you, and i know you can bring me through anything and everything...and You have all power...and that you control everything...but i still need my own strength...because there are things you cant handle"...um...hello?!?! how does that make sense? why is it that we can trust God in the good times, but flounder helplessly in the tough times? i find it odd and slightly ironic that we as Christians are always talking about trusting God in the storms and battles, but at the first sign of trouble, we question Him! why is it that we cant practice what we preach?

in case you were wondering, yes it does still hurt. it hurts alot. this is the worst pain ive ever had to deal with thus far. i am in no way saying that just through prayer all your pain can be taken away or numbed. im simply saying that it connects you to the source of strength. the One who felt more than we could ever possibly feel. yet still stuck through it.

tough times. the times we should run TO God. but the times we automatically run AWAY from God.

re-re-attempting

so...i tried to start a blog a while back. and it failed. and i tried again (for a class) and...same result. so im gonna try one more 'gain. hopefully it wont fail ;)

so breakfast. its good. i had some today...oatmeal, bacon, biscuit with gravy, coffee, and whole milk. breakfast of champions!

and class. i have chem. at 8am. so guess what i normally do in that class? if you said "pay attention and stay awake", you should probably read the first sentence again. i normally sleep!

our shower finally drains now! :) apparently, it gets clogged pretty easy...and we couldnt get it unclogged. so im sure you can imagine the grossness of standing shower water. like...after a 10 minute shower, it took ~30 minutes to drain! maintenance came to fix it, thankfully.

and i cant think of anything more to say. i feel like this is gonna take some getting used to.

[insert something funny and/or inappropriate here]

(all props go to mr phillip for that phrase)