today is one of those days that i feel like elpheba. she tried to fix stuff, tried to make things right, tried to be helpful...but it backfired.
please tell me youve at least heard of wicked. no? shame on you! well, its a prequel to the wizard of oz, about the wicked witch of the west (elpheba) and why she is wicked, why she is green, and why society is stupid.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4I8pneJkxBY
"my road of good intentions led where such roads always lead...no good deed goes unpunished!"
her simple attempt to fix a problem ended in disaster. every time she jumped into a situation and tried to help, the person she tried to help ended up either hating her or at least not wanting her anymore. she tries to fit in with society, tries to do well and do as she's told, but ends up in exile BECAUSE of her actions.
"One question haunts and hurts
Too much, too much to mention:
Was I really seeking good
Or just seeking attention?
Is that all good deeds are
When looked at with an ice-cold eye?
If that's all good deeds are
Maybe that's the reason why
No good deed goes unpunished
All helpful urges should be circumvented
No good deed goes unpunished
Sure, I meant well -
Well, look at what well-meant did:"
like really. look at what well-meant did! you now have a cowardly lion, a man made out of tin, a scarecrow, and flying monkeys. seriously! just because she loved some people and wanted to help them! no matter her intentions, no matter how much she cared, her attempts fell. failed. died trying. and who's to say that the ice-cold eye of observation isnt correct? should we even try to go with society and its norms? should we try to fix difficult problems? should we reach out to others?
are all good actions actually just seeking attention? looking back at my own actions, i start to question them, too. i still feel like i meant well, and wasnt looking for attention. but am i jaded by my own emotions? am i fooling myself? is there a chance that i was just looking for and enjoying the attention? in her case, she wanted conflict resolution, but ended up with attention - lots of negative attention!
so what's the deal? do we try to extend beyond our personal bubbles and reach into society? or should we be professional navel-gazers? how do we evaluate what our motivations really are? can we change those motivations? how do we make an impact if we dont act?
bbaagghh!!
just fyi, no, im not depressed. just slightly moody. and thoughtful. maybe you are too. i doubt this is the end of this post, but its all ive got for now. so maybe ngd pt2 will come later.
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